Agony uncle

I quote from the regular pullout section titled aami in Bartaman newspaper, Saturday 25^th September 2010 edition, p.2. It is the veteran journalist-turned personal counsellor Ranjan Bandopadhyay giving advice to a young married woman.

The lady writes (and I translate): My husband is a glutton. When I went around with him in the days before our marriage, he came across as smart and stylish, and a good conversationalist too. Within a few months of marriage, I discovered that the real person is very different. He has rustic habits of eating and sleeping. He snores, and eats like anything. He is not even clean in his person. Sad to say, my mother-in-law supports him in all his bad habits. Believe it or not, such a crude man still manages to earn a large pay-packet. That’s all he understands, in fact: money. But money alone cannot make for happiness, can it? How can I adjust with a man like that all my life?

The counsellor replies: Had you lived together before marriage, you would have at least found out in time that he snores in his sleep. I think you are rather foolish. That same uncouth person seemed smart, stylish and good to talk to before marriage? And now he has turned out to be dirty, unmannerly and crude? Your mind and eye are both given to illusion: what looks like a butterfly to you from afar becomes a bat when it comes close. Anyway, your husband has one positive quality at least – he makes good money. I don’t think there’s a dearth of love (prem) in this world; money can buy it for you. Use your husband’s money cleverly; your way is clear. You might soon emerge as a high-flying socialite. Poets, philosophers and artists will queue up at your door as friends, lovers and sycophants to drive away your loneliness.’