Did I tell you about my new gizmo/junket?

My good young friend Sumitha had once written to me via email about why she hates so-called social networking sites: most people, she said, merely put up all kinds of pictures and drop all kinds of names just to draw attention desperately to themselves: look, I have been there, done that, I hobnob with so many big noises, and so forth. It disgusts me too, and I have seen the same tendency on people’s blogs, and even in emails they send to me: they are not in the least interested in other people, they only want to talk about themselves and their piddling ‘achievements’ and acquisitions. We were brought up in an ambience where we were told only crass and ‘uneducated’ people do that sort of thing: now it’s spread like an epidemic. It isn’t civilized to talk about such things; it’s best not to mention them at all unless absolutely necessary in the context. It only tells others you suffer from great insecurity combined with a bloated ego, and if you are ‘admired’ for that, it’s only by people who are just as crass and silly as you are (Ooh, she’s got a chauffeur/ a new laptop/ a new hairdo!).

Of course there are people about whose travels and houses and cars and wines I love to hear – but that’s not only because they are close friends but I know that showing off is the last thing on their minds; all they want is to share with me the kind of stories I like to hear. Alas, their numbers are pitifully small.

And then there are people who are so dull that it never occurs to them that their vaunting may sound offensive and stupid: when it is pointed out to them, they privately take offence, and sometimes get back to you with lame apologies – ‘That’s not what I meant…’ Why on earth don’t people reflect a bit about how others might react to what they say before saying it?