The Devil's Dictionary

I first came across Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's dictionary when I was in high school, and it has never ceased to enthrall with its wicked wit. Here, for instance, are three of Bierce's idiosyncratic definitions:

Beggar: One who has relied on the assistance of friends.

Cannon: An instrument used for the rectification of national boundaries.

Belladonna: In Italian, a beautiful lady; in English, a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential similarity of the two languages.

And if you think that Bierce was petty enough to be a misogynist, here's another:

Brute: see Husband.