"Kalyug"!

I had a bit of a fight at a bank this morning.

I won't go into the gory details, but briefly it was as follows (you must remember that as a rule I stand tamely in queues and never open my mouth more than I have to). They took a cash deposit at one counter and sent me off to another to update the passbook (which they usually don't do). There I was told to go to yet another counter, because I didn't have one of the new computer-compatible passbooks (they talked as if it was my fault they had not given me such a passbook earlier). The third man first sent me back to the second, then told me to wait, then got me one of the new passbooks which was printed so faintly that nobody could read the stuff, and I found to my horror that they had got some of the details wrong. When I pointed this out, they told me to come back later - in the afternoon or next morning. At this point I began to grow hot under the collar, and demanded that they update the old book at least, and then we could see about coming back later for the new one. When they began to raise more objections, I became loud and scathing. Then the (third-) man complained that he was being 'harassed' because this was kalyug. At which point I really blew my top, agreeing with him that it was kalyug indeed, because in satyayug the bank would have happily made mistakes and the customers would have happily suffered for it. 

The yelling worked, and someone else ran up to do the needful. But I came away with a bad taste in the mouth. I also wondered how much I would enjoy this thirty years later, when I am a doddering old man, and the people manning the counter are my children's age...

This blog and Anna Hazare

It took fifteen months for the visit counter to reach the 10,000 mark, and less than a year for it to jump to 20,000. A heartening thing to see, because it means I have not been labouring entirely in vain (as I have said before, it's hard work to keep two blogs running simultaneously, especially if one of them is dedicated to whimsy and plain fun. Somebody warned that I may not be able to keep at it for long, but lo! it's been more than two years without a break already. But it helps to see an ever-increasing visit count). I shall look forward to seeing how quickly the follower count goes up to 100 and the 30,000-visits milestone is passed.

I shall reiterate that it would be nice to have more participation from my readers - by way of comments and contributions, besides visiting regularly and enlisting as followers.

One more thing I must note in passing is that maintaining this blog has brought home to me a) how many people are utterly humourless, and b) how widely tastes in humour differ.

And one last thing before I go: I shall insist till my dying day that not only is a sense of humour an essential requisite for civilization, but especially an ability to laugh at oneself - one's own sense of self-importance as balanced against the reality that one doesn't really matter in the vast cosmic scheme of things, even if one is a President or a tycoon or a pop icon. I wish more and more Indians, the man on the street as much as the movers and shakers, would learn to cultivate that virtue, which is the essence of true humility (as opposed to the ingrained habit of cringing before powerful people in the hope of currying favour and avoiding trouble). So here's my parting shot for now: I know, unlike Anna Hazare, that I am too ignorant and too insignificant a man to believe that I am always so right and good that I can and should impose my inflexible will upon this vast country without a qualm. I would run if anyone invited me to become the First Jan Lok Pal. Let me try to become a better man first. There's no shortage of people who are quite sure about their perfect moral virtue and absolute wisdom...

Weird expectations

If people will keep talking arrant and malicious nonsense about me behind my back, I think I am within my rights to keep laughing at them here. If that makes some of my pupils angry because they know I am ridiculing their parents, I am afraid that can't be helped: they should have found themselves nicer parents.

One of the latest canards I have heard about myself doing the rounds of this one-horse town of late is that I supposedly keep sitting on my chair all the time (I don't, actually, as all my pupils blessed with eyes should know, but that is beside the point here), whereas such and such tutor puts in so much more effort, staying on his feet all the time he teaches - why can't I try to live up to his example?

I am reminded of something a friend of mine, a doctor, told me from his experience long ago: a woman had a septic ulcer on the left elbow, and as the doctor was about to give her an antibiotic injection she shrugged her arm away and walked out of the dispensary muttering angrily - 'He tries to give me an injection in the right hand when he can see the boil is on the left, and he calls himself a doctor!'

Start dancing!

Wow: Google’s come up with a technological ‘paradigm-shift’ once again. Throw out your mouse and keyboard – outdated junk – and, after installing gmail motion and checking that your webcam is in position and switched on, just start throwing your arms and legs about in front of your PC, laptop, mobile or iPad. The computer will translate your gestures into commands for email – compose, reply, send, search, go to inbox, etc etc. (you can download their printable guide to check out how wide and varied a choice of gestures is already available).

Soon, thanks to Google’s now-hypnotic clout on what used to be called human minds, we shall see people monkey-dancing before their computers. And more and more, offices are going to resemble bharatnatyam or tai-chi classes. Vive la technologie!

One nasty thought: how am I going to actually compose anything like a long letter or one of these blogposts this way? And what about people with breathing problems and creaking joints?

P.S.: I won't be surprised if this is Google's idea of an April Fool joke. It's happened before. Last year they changed the company's name for a day...